I spent most of my life hating my body.
I went to some extremes deciding that a specific number on the scale would make my life better. That number came and went... and nothing felt different. I looked in the mirror and saw the same person looking back.
We aren't born hating our bodies, but as babies and children we watch and we listen.
Diets and thinness splashed all over the media. The women we admire the most scrutinizing their shape, shaming themselves for their food choices, talking about the newest fad diet, counting calories, and calling themselves the F-word.
It's crazy that as women we bond over some of these things - "water cooler conversation". Nobody views it as wrong, because it's the "healthy thing to do," right?
- Starving ourselves into the perfect size jeans really be considered healthy?
- Skipping a meal because we indulged the day before
- Going to a birthday party and turning down the cake, even though we want it so much?
Is this really a healthy relationship with food? Absolutely not.
I hear way too many conversations, and social posts from women I admire, who I see as strong and a force to be reckoned with putting themselves down because they aren't who they were when they were 20 years old.
But you're not the same person you were at 20 - you're so much better. I wish you could see it like I do.
Food is meant to be savoured and to nourish our bodies so we can do all the cool things we wanna do. "The desire for food and sex is part of human nature." -Chinese Proverb
So, where on this journey called life, did we start to scrutinize our bodies and label our food choices? Usually, it comes from the person we look up to the most, be it celebrity, best friend, sister, cousin... and sometimes our moms.
When we look up to someone, we don't see the size of their thighs, the extra bit of belly - we see perfection. When that person starts talking badly about themselves - we start to question if something is wrong with us.
I've witnessed moms telling their 7 year old daughter to skip the fries and get the salad. Telling them they don't need that dessert.
What example are we setting for our girls?
I know I want better for our children, we all do. But at what cost?
Who am I to talk though? I've been called an embarrassment to the fitness industry, and that I don't know what I'm talking about because of my size. It hurt. I didn't bounce back from kids - it just wasn't in the cards for me. That's ok. It doesn't make me lazy, or unknowledgeable.
I move my body daily, I nourish myself with food, and I enjoy bowls of buttery popcorn. I do what makes me feel good. Always. This is all still pretty new to me.
My life changed a lot when I had kids. Not just the typical sleepless nights, hard time breastfeeding, being spit up on, and struggling to find time for myself. Did you know I actually have 4 Children? 2 birthed and 2 bonus. 3 girls and 1 boy.
I refuse to teach my kids how to hate their bodies. I refuse to be the person who teaches them that this is normal. They won't learn that they're undeserving because of the way they look from me. Their mom.
I want better for them.
I chose to focus on confidence, strength, and yes, feeling sexy in our bodies again - or even *hey, for the first time!* - not just for me, not just for my kids, but for every woman I'm fortunate enough to meet in this life.
I choose to celebrate the things I love about myself.
- birthing 2 babies
- the ability to move
- being able to walk outside barefoot
- nourishing my body with delicious foods
- travelling to Egypt, Poland, Italy, France, and more
- my belly acting as a comfy pillow when my kids are sick, and on movie nights
It's time to celebrate everything you are, everything you've done and can do, everywhere you've been and everything you've yet to become.
Take sometime to write down these things. No ifs, ands, or buts! Seriously, do it now :)
When, I'm taking my last breath, I don't want to regret a missed opportunity.... I want to remember taking the chances, wearing the damn bikini, being in the pictures, changing my career, and showing up as the best damn mom for my kids.
If you're ready to ditch the diets, and learn about nourishing your body, reach out and let's chat - because yes, it's possible to turn it all around. You just have to decide that the time is now.