You can usually tell right away that something just isn’t clicking.
It's not super obvious, and it's not because you suddenly stop what you’re doing. It’s more subtle than that. You’re following along, doing your best to keep up, and then there’s that small moment where you realize… you don’t actually know what you’re supposed to be doing.
You hear the cue, “engage your core,” and there’s a pause. Not a full stop, just long enough to make you wonder what the heck does that actually mean? You keep moving, because what else are you supposed to do, but now your attention has shifted. You’re not really in the movement anymore. You’re in your head, trying to figure it out.
So you do what most people do. You tighten everything. You pull your stomach in. You brace, just to be safe.
For a second, that feels reassuring, like at least you’re doing something. But it still doesn’t quite land. It feels too strong, or in the wrong place, or just… unclear.
And then comes the thought: Am I doing this right?
That’s usually when your brain starts filling in the blanks.
Maybe I’m not strong enough. Maybe I need to get better at this before I’ll feel it. Maybe I just don’t have good core strength. Maybe I'm not meant to have a strong core, it's just not in the cards.
That’s where a lot of people land.
But most of the time, it has very little to do with strength.
The real problem is that most people have never actually been taught how to feel their core working. They’ve been given instructions, but no real explanation. Told what to do, but not what it should feel like when it’s happening properly: that gentle drawing in, and slight lift through the lower abdominals.
So instead, they go with what feels obvious. More effort. More tension. Trying harder. Go big or go home!
And here’s where it gets even trickier.
There's a difference between engaging your core and creating pressure in your core, and when you’re new to this work, those two things can feel almost the same.
Sometimes what feels like “working hard” is actually pressure pushing outward into the belly instead of support drawing inward. That’s often when you see the stomach push outward during exercises, and many people think that means they’re doing it correctly. Or worse, that the ballooning out of the belly is just further proof how "out of shape" you are (just to be clear, that's not true).
But it’s not always the kind of effort we want.
I remember a moment that completely changed how I understood this.
When I was seven months pregnant, one of my regular students came up to me after a strength class and said, “I don’t get it, you’re about ready to pop, and your planks still look better than mine.”
And honestly, that really made me stop and think.
Because the more I thought about it, the less sense it made. How could my abs possibly be working well in plank when they were stretched around an entire tiny human?
It didn’t take long for me to realize what was really happening.
I had simply gotten very good at shifting weight into my hands and feet. My abs weren't helping at all.
That moment taught me something I now see in clients all the time: abdominal muscles are some of the laziest muscles in the body. They will happily let everything else step in and do the work if given the chance.
- Your hips will help.
- Your shoulders will help.
- Your back, your glutes, your neck, all of them will jump in before your abs admit they need to do their share.
And the wildest part?
The first time I truly felt my lower abdominals engage properly, using the same methods I now teach in class and in this week’s video, I was stunned.
I had already been in the fitness industry for over six years.
And I had never felt that sensation before.
That’s how easy it is to miss.
The other thing people don’t realize is this: your core is not meant to feel like maximum effort all the time. It’s not something you grip and squeeze for dear life. It’s meant to respond to what your body is asking for.
Sometimes that response is small. Sometimes it needs more effort. But it should always match the movement, not overpower it.
If you’ve never felt that before, it’s very easy to assume you’re doing it wrong.
And once that thought settles in, everything starts to feel harder.
- You second-guess yourself.
- You overthink every movement.
- You start looking outside yourself for answers instead of noticing what’s happening in your own body.
That’s the part most people miss.
It’s not that your body isn’t doing anything. It’s that you don’t yet have a clear idea of what to look for.
And without that, every cue feels vague. Every movement feels uncertain. Every attempt feels like a game of Guess Who, where everyone else seems one question away from the answer, and you’re still staring at half the board.
But once that reference point starts to come into focus, things begin to shift.
Not in a huge, overnight way. Just enough that you notice something different. A small sensation. A clearer connection. A moment where your body makes just a little more sense than it did before.
That’s where progress really begins.
Not from pushing harder.
From understanding better.
In this week’s video, I walk you through a simple way to begin finding that connection, so you’re not just tightening everything and hoping for the best. It gives you a real starting point, something you can actually feel.
And if part of you is thinking, okay… I need help with this, I don’t want to keep guessing my way through it, this is exactly the kind of thing we work on inside my 12-week Yoga for Core + Pelvic Health series.
If 12-weeks sounds scary, from April 13–16, I’m running Pay-What-You-Can Week. It’s a chance to come in, try a class, and get guided help figuring this out in your own body, without pressure to get it perfect and without having to commit to anything long-term right away.
Learn More & Sign Up to Pay-What-You-Can
You do not need to have it all figured out before you begin.
You just need a place where things start making sense.
